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| 10:52am 27/11/2009 |
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One thing that continues to amaze me is how marketing seems to drive the entire hygiene industry, rather than research or even logic for that matter. Marketing trends that actually make no sense at all:
1. The idea that lather = clean. You know what makes shampoo and soap lather? Sulphates, aka salts, which have the nice side effect of stripping hair and skin of all oils, completely drying it out. This can lead to overproduction of oil, which of course you then strip back out with some nice lather...rinse lather repeat lather repeat et infinitim.
2. The overuse of silicone in everything. I'm not talking about fake boobs - I'm talking about how dimethicone is found in what seems like 90% of all hair products. It's a great smoothing product, but it also prevents moisture from being absorbed into the hair. The best analogy is putting a fresh coat of paint on top of a peeling coat of paint over and over. It might look good at first but over time, it just worsens split ends and hair condition. But the initial ridiculously silky feel you get with something like Pantene ropes people into thinking it's good for their hair.
3. "Oil free" as a marketing gimmick for skin products. From what I can tell, this came from an old research study that mistakenly said that mineral oil causes pimples. However I recently learned that not only does oil not clog pores, it actually helps dissolve oil in pores ("like dissolves like"). This is why women used mineral oil based cold cream for decades to get soft, clear skin. The key is leaving the oil on long enough to dissolve skin oil, and then steaming it off so that it doesn't leave a greasy layer behind. But again, somehow the idea of clean = stripping the skin seems to persist.
The thing is, good luck finding a shampoo and conditioner without sulfates or dimethicone. I have found literally three out of the dozens of brands that exist at the drug store (Burt's Bees, Naked Naturals, and Mane 'N Tail conditioner). It's easier to find them at specialty stores like Sally's Beauty.
As for oil cleaning, I definitely use it on areas where I get blackheads or whiteheads and it really does dissolve them away. Rather than needing to do at home steaming and extractions a few times a week, I can do it a few times a month. You can use cold cream or an oil blend (olive oil base plus castor oil, orange oil, or jojoba). Right now I use Burt's Bees orange oil cleaner because I had a sample lying around. I am still loyal to my benzoyl peroxide face wash, toner, and cream for breakouts, but I have very treatment resistant acne. For those who have run of the mill clogged pores, oil cleansing is apparently a very effective anti-acne regimen, as counter intuitive as it may seem.
I guess it just amazed me that solely due to marketing we are being sold crap that is bad for us when there are cheaper and better alternatives out there. I wonder if any company will ever try to market oil cleansing again and if it will come back in vogue. Loreal is pushing a sulfate free shampoo right now but it's still chock full of dimethicone. Maybe it's a secret plot by hair dressers to encourage silicone use and the resulting split ends so people will get more frequent hair cuts.
I really wish being an informed consumer wasn't so much damn work. |
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| 11:00am 30/10/2009 |
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I secretly want to be a fashion blogger. I read about 2 dozen fashion blogs and find them fun and inspiring, and part of me wants to start one, but I don't actually have the time or motivation. So instead I will subject you to my ramblings, yay!
( Colleen's guide to not looking boring OR crazy ) |
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| Ok, I admit it, I really like Lady Gaga. |
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| 10:00pm 04/08/2009 |
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After careful speculation I've decided: I am a Lady Gaga fan. Here's why.
I'm pretty sure her whole music "career" is an elaborate joke/performance art. Why? Because she was a successful songwriter before she had her own hits. She has written for Britney Spears among others. I think she eventually realized, "hey, I can fucking sing better than these pop bitches, why aren't I a pop star?" She knows that she's not conventionally facially attractive, hence the elaborate fashion. She's said in interviews that she is riding the edge of bankruptcy in order to fund her performances, so I think she's young and aware that her window of fame is fleeting and doing it for fun, not money. She also gives completely pretentious nonsense interviews in a fake voice. I think she really wants to see how ridiculous she can act and still have people buy her songs because they're so damn catchy. I think she is actually very smart and talented. If you don't believe me, check this out:
She also sings live while performing:
Also, I am all about this crazy movie style music video. The outfit at the end is very Death Cult.
So, she may be contrived and overexposed, but I think she is laughing at everyone and I get the joke.
Oh, also, my aspiring actor cousin was an extra in her Rolling Stone photo shoot so she also gets point for getting him a leg up. Here's the pic, he's in the background on the right. TRUFAX, apparently super famous photog Dave LaChapelle (who did the shoot) has a thing for my cousin's body. LOL
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| 12:37am 27/06/2009 |
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I feel as though the Michael Jackson I'd like to remember died a long time ago. Whatever husk of a damaged man was walking around since then is now also dead. Perversely I feel like maybe it was a merciful end - what sort of future did he have? He seemed to be falling apart in so many ways for the last decade or more. His life was a very strange combination of incredible talent and psychological disturbance. As a student of psychology he has got to be one of the most baffling, intriguing, and sad figures out there - the most extreme example of what early life stress can lead to later in life. He gave us some of the best pop music and choreography in modern history but I wonder if he was ever happy. In some ways I feel like he was put out of his misery. It is sad to lose an icon but he has not been the Jackson 5 MJ or Thriller MJ for a very long time now. |
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| 11:27am 28/05/2009 |
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Hung out at the Scurvy Dog last night for Delsin and Freddy’s “Left of the Dial” event. It was a really fun time – that place is all word of mouth so it’s really low key. I am always appreciative that the events I go to have such a wide age range and yet such a commonality of experience. We all have done the same dumb shit in our youth, had the bad fake IDs, snuck into shows, injured ourselves in mosh pits. Had an interesting discussion with a friend a decade older than I about how since we were once jail bait, we are super squicked out by jail bait these days, because we know exactly what they’re up to! And how now we’re dealing with not wanting to be the creepy older person who buys the jail bait drinks. It’s really hard to imagine that almost 10 years ago I was getting into bars, doing the same thing I do now, and so much has changed and so much hasn’t. It’s reassuring in a way. It's depressing in another because I feel wicked old sometimes. But there's no shortage of people who have 10, 15, or 20 years on me who were out last night who'd scoff at me for saying that and give me a lecture about what being old means.
The other funny thing I’ve noticed is that alcohol affects my water balance, and after going out and having drinks the next day I’ll be like 2.5 lbs. lighter. Booze is clearly the magical diet secret everyone has been looking for. |
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| 10:39am 12/05/2009 |
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This month at the club the theme was “Combat Zone” so we dressed accordingly. It was fun, and ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) neurobeat got some great pictures. We also had our customary nerf war. I escalated things to chemical warfare with a gun that blew bubbles.
War is serious business!
( more carnage below ) |
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| 12:01am 30/04/2009 |
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Please, VH1, give these Swedish girly boy 80s reincarnations their own show. PLEASE. Because I am mesmerized by their hair and how I am not really sure if there are three of them or if they just rapidly shapeshift around the room.
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| 03:23pm 23/04/2009 |
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I knew those bastards were screwing me! Bank of America was sued for being shady about overdraft fees and is now paying out 35 mil in a class action lawsuit. I had an instance where a transaction completely dropped off my statement, so I thought that a bill hadn't been paid, so I paid it again and ended up overdrawing and getting hit with tons of fees. I was in school at the time and couldn't afford it at all, and it was really not cool to have all my food money disappear because of their shitty system. They tried to say that it was normal for transactions to disappear from statements temporarily, but it had never done it before and hasn't since, and that is one of the things they were sued over. So I will happily claim my $78 from those bastards! You should do so too if you have an account with them and were ever charged an overdraft fee.
http://clossonsettlement.com/OnlineClaimForm.htm |
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| Should Malingerers Get Disability? |
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| 01:31pm 23/04/2009 |
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A number of influences have led me to the topic of malingering. My coworker has a chapter in a book on how to test for it, which I've been reading. I have known at least one malingerer personally. And I have recently encountered one on these grand old interwebs.
To define malingering, it's basically faking sick for personal gain. Gain could be anything from a payout from a lawsuit to sympathy from other people. The key thing is that while there may be nothing *physically* wrong with the malingerer, there may be something *psychologically* wrong that drives them to the behavior in the first place. I find that the ones motivated by sympathy and attention tend to be the real psych cases, as opposed to people like the slimy car salesman who filed an injury claim after he scraped my car - he's just a greedy jerk.
Anyhow, malingerers often claim they are unable to work. Physically they probably can. But the drama they create surrounding their health issues can certainly affect their employability. Employers can't easily verify claims of doctors visits or health problems without access to health records, and often malingerers are experts at gaining sympathy, so when someone says they have cancer but there's something fishy about the whole thing, most people put those doubts aside. If malingerers do get caught, they usually get a psych diagnoses which qualifies them for disability.
However, for those motivated by sympathy and attention, I wonder what would happen if as part of their therapy they were put in a work environment where everyone knew in advance they were a malingerer. Their coworkers, friends, and family would all be instructed to refuse to discuss any health related matters with them. A nurse could monitor them on a daily basis to verify that they weren't actually sick. I wonder if, with enough consistency, taking away the reward for playing the "sick role" would change the behavior. According to my coworker, there is research showing that workman's' comp injuries do not tend to improve while claims are pending, but as soon as claims are settled, people rapidly get better. I wonder if this sort of approach would work for psych cases.
The problem is that malingering is tricky to prove, and malingerers are often experienced at working the system. They see multiple doctors and tell them each a different story, they research the conditions they claim to have so that their front is more convincing, and they play the pity card as hard as they can whenever someone gets suspicious and starts asking questions.
But in the case of people who are not as adept, such as my own malingering acquaintance (who had a new diagnosis every week), or the person on the internet (who has a documented history of inconsistencies on various forums), should they really be getting government disability like any other person with a medical issue? My thoughts are no, they should be getting tailored therapy and maybe even a psych hospitalization to put them in a controlled setting. But the issue still stands of separating the wheat from the chaff, and avoiding penalizing actual sick people for the misguided actions of others. I just have to wonder how much the disability system rewards this type of behavior and may even encourage it in people who are not physically or mentally ill, but simply desperate. |
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| My Meme, let me show you it |
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| 02:33pm 02/04/2009 |
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I just made this one up but I'm actually interested in people's answers to this. Fess up!
YOUR PRE-PUBESCENT MUSICAL TASTES
music you listened to in grammar school
Five albums you liked then and can still rep now:
1. No Doubt, Tragic Kingdom
2. TLC, CrazySexyCool
3. Lauryn Hill, The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill
4. Notorious BIG, Life After Death
5. Ace of Base, The Sign (c'mon, no one did cheesy early 90's house like AoB!)
Half of those were on cassette because it was cheaper than CDs. And yes, I listened to rap and R&B then, but at least my taste was respectable!
Five albums you are ashamed that you liked then:
1. The Dangerous Minds soundtrack (I was 10 and liked "gangsta's paradise" but found the cursing in other songs to be embarrassing)
2. Madonna, Ray of Light (SO not her best album)
3. Family Values Tour 1999 (featuring rammstein, ice cube, and...limp bizkit. and korn. yep.)
4. Orgy, Candyass - Ok, this one is not SO terrible, but the fact that I thought I was a badass for owning it is.
5. Mariah Carey, Daydream and Butterfly (ok, these are not bad as cheesy guilty pleasure albums...but I took them 100% seriously as artistic masterpieces at the time. Stop laughing, I was like 10.)
I probably made a few people feel old with this one, sorry :). But please, fess up to your own potentially hilarious childhood musical tastes! |
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| 01:12pm 02/03/2009 |
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I updated my Henna Flickr account with some new work. I've been trying my hand at some more traditional/bridal type designs. I also did some large scale pieces for the fashion show earlier this month; hopefully there will be photos of that work soon as well.
I'll also be presenting a workshop at the Northeast Henna and Bellydance Gathering later this month. The topic will be SCIENCE: SRS BIZZNISS! Or something like that ;). |
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| 12:47pm 03/02/2009 |
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Someone linked to this website on a blog I read, and it made me LOL and OMG simultaneously:
http://shop.dereon.com/nshop/product.php?view=listing&dept=CurvierWoman&groupName=PlusNewArrivals&both=yes;
That's Beyonce's plus size line of clothing. Notice anything notable? Like, oh I don't know, that the model has taken my lower body and photoshopped it onto herself? Seriously, she's proportioned exactly like me, it's freaking uncanny.
Hmm, since they cut the head off the model anyway, maybe I should apply for a modeling job with them!
But seriously, stereotypes about ghetto booty/junk in the trunk/etc. notwithstanding, there are tons of models on modelmayhem who have crazy measurements like 36-28-45 who do "urban" bikini modeling and crap. The bottom heavy look seems to be very popular in certain scenes.
Clearly when I was in 7th grade and listened to rap I was on the right track. When I was 13 and a guy described me as "the girl with the big ass" (mind you I weighed like 115 lbs. at the time) I should have just run with it. I could be a rap video extra AT LEAST by now.
I feel like I've been on the wrong path this entire time. I missed my calling. Now I'm stuck in the goth scene where the ideal look is "30 seconds from anorexic organ failure." WHERE DID I GO WRONG? |
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| Old Habits Die Hard |
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| 02:53pm 04/01/2009 |
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I am a brunette with a redhead's brain, I've decided.
Yesterday at the drugstore I decided to pick up a demi permanent haircolor to brighten my hair. I've been meaning to just redye it with permanent dye, but the professional beauty supply store has been closed the last two times I went, and my hair was starting to look A Hot Mess.
I grabbed a box of Natural Instinct Cinnaberry. Only today as I was throwing away the box did I realize something.
The first time I actually dyed my hair it was using the exact same product. That was 10 freaking years ago.
Yep, the packaging has changed, but it's the same brand and color. I've been a fake redhead for a decade - longer if you count my experiments with sun-in in 6th grade which brought me to an orangey auburn. Aside from my "rainbow phase" in which I literally had every hair color in the rainbow (not all at once thankfully), I've been a fake redhead for almost half my life.
This astonishingly deep revelation was brought to you by overcaffeination. |
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| 01:02pm 30/12/2008 |
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Recent news aside, I did have a good time over Xmas break. My family bookended xmas with the big family party/keggar on the 20th, and my stepbrother's wedding on the 28th, so it was pretty eventful. There is of course photographic and video evidence.
One Finnerty Xmas tradition is singing the 12 Day of XMas. The highlight is my grandmother's annual solo of "5 Golden Rings." They even ordered her a "5 golden rings" tshirt last year, but the place spelled "grandma" GArandma, which has become her nickname ever since. Either way this is done midway through the night when our pianist is still sober enough to play, but everyone else is pretty smashed, and this is the first year we've gotten though it without having to stop and start over (though we hit a rough patch at 10, we pulled through it).
Video link here.
Christmas was actually pretty low key comparatively. I got a lot of gift cards, and some nice things from my mom and aunt - two fancy jackets, pajamas, candy.
The wedding was Saturday and oh what a wedding it was. It was at Mayfair Farms in NJ, a fancy schmancy event hall. There was a big cocktail hour with a raw bar, hot food, carving station, regular bar, and a special martini bar. The martinis were served by pouring them through an ice sculpture. The ice sculpture resembled an art deco female torso, and the martinis came out through the "groin" area. No one knows if this was an intentional fertility symbol or what but the more martinis we all had the funnier it became.
Either way another family tradition was enacted - the singing of "Paradise by the Dashboard Light" by Meatloaf. This is once again an alcohol fueled sing-off between the men and women in the family that's been going on for a good 10 years. Someone had the good sense to document how silly we looked, and the photo album can be found here.
Overall, I ate too much, drank too much, and had too much fun :). I did make it to the gym four times so not all was lost. But now it's back to the daily grind, and oh yeah, submitting four grad school applications and a conference submission all in the next month. |
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| RIP Angie 1982-2008 |
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| 08:32pm 28/12/2008 |
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Angela Watson, a friend of mine and many, passed away on Dec. 21st in a motorcycle accident. She was only 26 years old. Her fiance Brady was critically injured and is in intensive care. Please if you knew Angie take a moment to remember her today. Her passing is a reminder that life is fleeting.
( memories )
Angie and Brady at Sanctuary, Fall 2008:
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| 11:54am 09/12/2008 |
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Yesterday I realized something that I wish had sunken in a long time ago. I have to tell you, shopping for pants has led to one epiphany after another. Essentially what I realized is that in the fashion industry there is no such thing as 'thin enough.' So trying to objectively say "when I am THIS size I will officially be thin and be able to shop anywhere" is a complete waste of effort. There will always be smaller pants.
( ramble ramble ramble ) |
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| Holidays |
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| 05:28pm 23/11/2008 |
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I've decided that after 3 months of nutritional diligence it's time for a break. Both for psychological and logistical reasons - my motivation is depleted, and the holiday season is starting. I've made good progress in the past month (down another pants size) so I feel I've earned it. I'll be eating to maintain my weight until after thanksgiving, then cutting down until xmas, and then another break from then until new years. As long as my pants keep fitting that's fine by me.
( hair ) |
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| Moral dilemmas |
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| 04:11pm 17/11/2008 |
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So I read this three piece series that raised a number of questions for me. The cliff notes version:
Part 1. Woman's morbidly obese mother dies because an insensitive doctor told her to lose weight before coming back to see him. She never lost the weight, never went to the doctor again, and died from a preventable medical issue for which obesity is a main risk factor.
Part 2. Before the funeral, the daughter (also obese) is urged by her aunt to see a doctor and take care of herself with the implication that she should lose weight. The daughter is gravely offended by this suggestion and its timing.
Part 3.Several weeks later another family member also mentions weight loss. The woman decides her family are a bunch of insensitive jerks for caring more about her weight than how she is dealing with her mother's death.
What I see here is a really sad story of legitimate weight based discrimination in health care. But the experience of the daughter just seems like her misinterpreting the actions of concerned family members. These people just watched a relative die of what was likely complications of obesity, and they are worried about the daughter because she shares both the mother's genetics as well as her degree of obesity. I understand that the timing may be incredibly insensitive here, but it sounds much like the stereotype of the alcoholic getting smashed after the funeral of a relative who died of liver cirrhosis getting mad when someone suggests they try AA. Addiction is a powerful thing, lifestyles are hard to change, it's easier sometimes to embrace self destruction. The following reaction on the daughter's part just makes me sad:
I mentioned the twin-studies showing weight to be about 80% genetic. I mentioned the experiment about weight set-points and how naturally thin people have to ingest as much as 10,000 calories a day in order to become fat. I pointed out the several people on both sides of my family tree who are fat. And finally I pointed out that my fatness hurts no one but myself, and it is my body and my choice to accept myself and strive to be healthy at whatever size I might be, or to indulge in self-hatred and go on diet after diet, hoping that somehow I will wind up being part of that lucky 5% or less who manage to maintain their weight loss for over five years.
So science says she's doomed to be fat, and diets never work, and even though her own mother just died because of her weight, she is clearly only hurting herself by not changing her lifestyle.
It's one thing to feel like your family are insensitive for pointing out something that is a touchy issue for you. It's another to take what sounds like legitimate concern and paint it as merely judgement. And it's still another thing to refuse to admit that you need to lose weight and hide behind misinterpreted research when your own mother likely died because she did not deal with her weight. This behavior reminds me quite a bit of the show Intervention about drug addiction, where even after an addict's friend or partner dies of drug related complications, they still don't quit the habit.
This was supposed to be an example supporting the fat acceptance movement, believe it or not. |
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| The fun house mirror, or Gestalt Psychology and Weight Loss |
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| 12:57pm 17/11/2008 |
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Lately I've been experiencing a very disconcerting but scientifically interesting phenomenon. I call it the "fun house mirror effect." Essentially what happens is that I look in the mirror and I think "wow, I look slim." I walk away, come back to the same mirror, and this time I think I look chunky. I'm wearing the same outfit, I haven't eaten anything, nothing has changed. Sometimes I can stare into the mirror and my vision morphs back and forth - chunky, slim, chunky, slim. It's like this optical illusion: http://media-2.web.britannica.com/eb-media/37/3437-004-387D9C66.gif. Or a fun house mirror, where at one angle you're a beanpole and the next you're shaped like the kool aid dude.
What is happening is I am stressed out by various things and so my body is making the psychological physiological. I have a long history of this - the last time I felt like my future prospects were unstable, I had balance issues that progressed to severe vertigo. Funny how when you don't deal with brain junk it becomes body junk.
That said, it's almost easier to deal with this now that it's a visual perception, figure ground, Gestalt psychology, physiological issue. I can say "my, how interesting" with scientific distance. This is probably taking compartmentalizing and the scientific method way too far but oh well, that's what I do.
Speaking of science, grad school applications are coming along. I've secured my letters of recommendation, which was the last real loose end to tie up. Now it's just filling out forms, requesting information, formalities. Which is good because I'm dropping BC from my list - the two advisers I wanted to work with aren't taking students - and added MIT, whose deadline is a full month before everyone else's. I'm trying not to freak out about my lack of publications - right now all I have is third authorship on a conference poster, and our lab won't have anything in press until at least Xmas. But I do have solid experience. And I know I could do well in any one of the labs I'm applying to. I guess they will see that or they won't. Worst comes to worst I get a research management job, make money for a while and reapply. This is not life or death even though the anxiety of it wakes me up at night. |
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